A fond adieu

Well faithful readers, since I am now in medical school, I am no longer going to be updating the premed blog. I'll leave it up for a while, but I think I'll take it down by october. If'n you want to follow the story during the Second Age of Middle Earth, read the Silmarillion, but if you want my story, click the link at the side of this page. yess, I see you looking around..... It's to the right.... warmer....warmer....YES! Under the "links" menu!!!! It's the Spaceman Spiff Adventure!
-GDG

Red State Update

This message has been approved by Jacky Browles. For those not in the know, search youtube for "redstate update". Funny rednecks. Ok, here is the updated status of my schools:
OHSU: Said no up front to yours truly. Hold status for 5+ months, then "we don't want you here". Fine.
UVM: Middle third of the waiting list.
SLU: Still accepted, working out financial aid details.

The Crazier They Come

So, here are a few quotes from the confused, DT'ing, mentally ill, demented patients that I have seen in the past few weeks.

"Are you using an axe to draw my blood ? "

"There was a colored man who came out of the clock and stood in my body"

" The people on the TV came out of it and talked with me"

" I couldn't sleep last night because of the fish swimming in the wall".... "There were tons of them: salmon, blugill, trout, and bass." -note: this was from the patient who had removed one of the wall panels to get at the fish. Needless to say the maintenance man was confused when he asked why the panel had been removed in the first place.

"My leg's not F---ing broken!!"- Young man in CT scanner whose leg was broken in half at the femur. Yes, my friend, it most certainly is broken.

"You can't check my blood sugar. I only let people check my blood glucose". Ok. Whatever you say, you're the boss.

Not so nervous waiting.

So the wait for May 15 continues. May 15 is the magical day when all medical schools are required to have admitted a number of students equal to the 1st year class. What this also means is that the waitlists at the various schools will be ranked and applicants will be notified. Some schools will tell you the exact position on the list; OHSU is one such school. Others will give you a rough idea of where you fall, like UVM which tells you which third of the list you're on. Right now I'm pretty set on going to SLU. I don't know what we'll do if I have to pick between SLU and OHSU or SLU and UVM. I reallly liked Burlington so it'll be a hard choice. Of course, I might be ranked 200th at OHSU and in the bottom third at UVM, so who knows. This might all be moot. All I know is that I'm really grateful that I don't have to sweat a waitlist in order to attend medical school next fall.

Osmolality, or How I Kept My Cool

Patient X has Q6 osmo's and sodiums. He's in the SICU, and I don't know/care what else he has. All I know is that during the night, the ICU nurses have ordered Q2 Osmo's and Na's. But they don't want them. Rather than simply cancelling the order in the computer, they simply turn us away all night long. No biggie since I'm asleep at home when this is happpening.
Change of shift in the lab. I get report that the ICU has been carrying on like this, but that they finally cancelled the Q2 orders. Patient X has a 0600 Basic Metabolic Panel which has included in it a sodium level. We do this, but for some reason the 0600 Osmo and sodium were cancelled along with the Q2 orders. Since the nursing staff now wants the tests Q6 at 0600, 1200, and so on, we need to reorder the osmo which we do. By the time we get to the floor to do a slightly late 600 osmolality, Mr. X has gone to CT. The nurse irately explains to the phleb that they don't want osmos except at 0600 and 1200. Wisely the phleb deflects the spittle from yonder moronicus giganticus. He hops on the phone and yells at me, 'Osmo's? We don't need no stinkin osmo's", well he would have if I'd been Gene Wilder in Blazing Saddles. He actually berated me for sending someone up.
I tried explaining that we were actually trying to perform his precious 0600 Osmo, but that the patient had been in CT. Since it was 0715, and the patient had returned, I felt it requisite to draw the blood as ordered. He stammered incoherently and tried to make me understand, using his best patronizing tone, that he only wanted them at 0600 and 1200. Yes, massah I replied. I then reached into the phone, and dug my finger into Nurse Moronicus' ear. Feeling the wrath of the lab, he backed off, and apologized. I told him that we were doing the best we could to comply with their orders, and that if he wanted an 0600 osmo, he would have to let us draw it. If not, we'd be more than happy to cancel it. My cool, impassive mien and unflappable Harrison Ford voice let him know who really was in charge. He might be all bluster, but Cool Hand Lab Man wasn't takin' no crap from nobody, nohow.

editor's note: In the interests of factual accuracy, Lab Man was in fact exquisitely polite, did not physically harm the nurse, and the situation resolved itself peacefully. Had it not been so, there would have been a Wild West showdown in the halls behind SICU. We all know who would have drawn his pearl handled six shooter fastest too.....