Dr. Longfinger, it would appear that you have an anti-nurse agenda which you are shamelessly promoting using George's normally dull Blog as a forum. I am an RN and have never seen, let alone committed the blunders which seem to permeate Dr. Longfinger's anecdotes. I would maintain that either Dr. Longfinger is in fact covering for his own blunders and pawnign off these mistakes on others, or the events in question never in fact occured.
-Miffed in Missoula
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Q&A with Dr. Longfinger
A: You have raised an interesting question. By and large, most nurses are quite competent. There are, however, some remarkably dim RN's servicing our nation's ill. Perhaps the following anecdote from the annals of Dr. Longfinger will answer your question. It was early one morning on our little floor, not a patient was stirring, not even Bill Moore. As I out wheeled my cart, I saw with alarm, 'twas an Isolation room, I could come to harm. I donned glove and gown, and prepped my syringe. I pushed open the door, which swung on its hinge. A sign on the wall read "I have a PICC, use it to get blood, mine, all" Puzzelled by syntax I asked for his nurse. She said No More Verse and belted a Curse. OK, said I pleased, I'll stick to my prose, and don't get bent out of shape. you or your nose. So I went in the room to draw out his blood, the PICC wouldn't work [editor's note: A PICC is a special type of IV that has a long canula in the vein that terminates just outside the heart and can occaisionaly be used for blood draws]. I poked him instead with my needle. He had a CBC, or complete blood count. As I left the room, his nurse who was waiting outside asked me if I had the results back yet. WHAT THE CRAP??? Umm, no, I replied, barely tactfully. The blood, you see, is still in this tube in my hand. I have not yet been certified on teleportation, and consequently, the blood must physically go TO the lab to be tested. I can, if you like, hold it up to the light to count the RBC's. [Editor's note: Using full phrases and names is anathema to those in the medical profession. RBC stands for Red Blood Cell]. Very well. Do you at least have the resulst of his blood sugar test for 0900? NO, again I replied, carefully checking my tongue at the tongue check. ( they gave me a chit I have yet to redeem for my tongue). You see, it is only 0645, and we dont' do sugars until 30 minutes before their time. THat would be, at the earliest, 0830.
To return to your original question, Fretful, don't ever leave the side of your loved one. Those nurses, seemingly benign, can be quite dull of mind.
To return to your original question, Fretful, don't ever leave the side of your loved one. Those nurses, seemingly benign, can be quite dull of mind.
From the annals of Dr. Longfinger
Dear Sr. Sassy in Md.
Your most recent correspondance bordered on the unquietly dignified. If, however, we are to be scatalogical, let us then be so utterly scatalogical as to collapse in a fit of giggles over the meerest mention of poo. As in teh poo-r in spirit. Let me regale you with an acoount of fecal woes unparalleled. Occaisonally, in the hospital setting, there are times when it becomes necessary to induce a BM in a patient. One such a chance was two weeks ago in the medical ICU at Sacred Heart. Your beloved Dr. Longfinger was in his customary disguise as a phlebotomist for Oregon Medical Labs. As he padded down the hall, his poorly made cart chattering all the way, a wretched miasma filled his nose and mouth. Unsuccessfully trying not to gag, he walked past the room from which the stench emanated. Dorren, the nurse staggered out of the room, halfway between laughter and nausea. I asked what had happened. He told me that he had just seen the world's largest poop. How big? I asked, my morbid curiousity piqued. The size of a newborn, he replied grinning and gagging. By smell alone I could not doubt the veracity of his assertion. He told me that the nurse was trying unsuccessfully to flush it down the toilet. Hmm, I thought to myself, would I try to flush a poop the size of a child down the toilet ? NO. But, I am not a registered nurse, so such "outside the box" (read: poorly concieved) solutions are beyond my grasp.
Q: I have a hospitalized relative who is quite dear to me. The nurses who are attending her seem, however, to be less than teh Florence Nightingales I expect to see roaming the hospital. Should I be concerned for her wellbeing? or is she in good hands?
-Fretful in Fresno
Your most recent correspondance bordered on the unquietly dignified. If, however, we are to be scatalogical, let us then be so utterly scatalogical as to collapse in a fit of giggles over the meerest mention of poo. As in teh poo-r in spirit. Let me regale you with an acoount of fecal woes unparalleled. Occaisonally, in the hospital setting, there are times when it becomes necessary to induce a BM in a patient. One such a chance was two weeks ago in the medical ICU at Sacred Heart. Your beloved Dr. Longfinger was in his customary disguise as a phlebotomist for Oregon Medical Labs. As he padded down the hall, his poorly made cart chattering all the way, a wretched miasma filled his nose and mouth. Unsuccessfully trying not to gag, he walked past the room from which the stench emanated. Dorren, the nurse staggered out of the room, halfway between laughter and nausea. I asked what had happened. He told me that he had just seen the world's largest poop. How big? I asked, my morbid curiousity piqued. The size of a newborn, he replied grinning and gagging. By smell alone I could not doubt the veracity of his assertion. He told me that the nurse was trying unsuccessfully to flush it down the toilet. Hmm, I thought to myself, would I try to flush a poop the size of a child down the toilet ? NO. But, I am not a registered nurse, so such "outside the box" (read: poorly concieved) solutions are beyond my grasp.
Q: I have a hospitalized relative who is quite dear to me. The nurses who are attending her seem, however, to be less than teh Florence Nightingales I expect to see roaming the hospital. Should I be concerned for her wellbeing? or is she in good hands?
-Fretful in Fresno
Editor's Note
Due to extreme laxity on the part of George in updating his posts, his Blog has been temporarily taken over by Dr. Longfinger until such time that George will be able to reclaim his duties.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Summer Windup
Summer term is winding down now, I have only two days left of physics before I have bliss unbounded. My lab final is tomorrow, which doesn't bear thinking about. I have done pretty well on most of the labs, but the final is going to be tough.
I have to study a lot tonight, so I will not post much. I will try to be more conscientious in my blog updating.
-g
I have to study a lot tonight, so I will not post much. I will try to be more conscientious in my blog updating.
-g
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
