From the annals of Dr. Longfinger

Dear Sr. Sassy in Md.
Your most recent correspondance bordered on the unquietly dignified. If, however, we are to be scatalogical, let us then be so utterly scatalogical as to collapse in a fit of giggles over the meerest mention of poo. As in teh poo-r in spirit. Let me regale you with an acoount of fecal woes unparalleled. Occaisonally, in the hospital setting, there are times when it becomes necessary to induce a BM in a patient. One such a chance was two weeks ago in the medical ICU at Sacred Heart. Your beloved Dr. Longfinger was in his customary disguise as a phlebotomist for Oregon Medical Labs. As he padded down the hall, his poorly made cart chattering all the way, a wretched miasma filled his nose and mouth. Unsuccessfully trying not to gag, he walked past the room from which the stench emanated. Dorren, the nurse staggered out of the room, halfway between laughter and nausea. I asked what had happened. He told me that he had just seen the world's largest poop. How big? I asked, my morbid curiousity piqued. The size of a newborn, he replied grinning and gagging. By smell alone I could not doubt the veracity of his assertion. He told me that the nurse was trying unsuccessfully to flush it down the toilet. Hmm, I thought to myself, would I try to flush a poop the size of a child down the toilet ? NO. But, I am not a registered nurse, so such "outside the box" (read: poorly concieved) solutions are beyond my grasp.
Q: I have a hospitalized relative who is quite dear to me. The nurses who are attending her seem, however, to be less than teh Florence Nightingales I expect to see roaming the hospital. Should I be concerned for her wellbeing? or is she in good hands?
-Fretful in Fresno

Editor's Note

Due to extreme laxity on the part of George in updating his posts, his Blog has been temporarily taken over by Dr. Longfinger until such time that George will be able to reclaim his duties.

Summer Windup

Summer term is winding down now, I have only two days left of physics before I have bliss unbounded. My lab final is tomorrow, which doesn't bear thinking about. I have done pretty well on most of the labs, but the final is going to be tough.
I have to study a lot tonight, so I will not post much. I will try to be more conscientious in my blog updating.
-g

18 Hours of Sleep!

Things had come to a pretty low ebb by friday evening. I was exhausted and hadn't slept well that afternoon. I had bombed a math quiz and that always leaves an acrid taste in your mouth. I slept for about 4 hours before having to work all night, so I was trashed. Work sucked, several misses and I lurched my way through the night. Saturday I slept until 1130 when I staggered out of bed, zombie-like. By two o'clock I was totally frustrated at my utter inability to understand my calculus, so I went to bed. At 10 I woke up and went to work. Work was ok, I had several misses which is really frustrating, considering how long i've been working there. 7 o'clock saw a weary George home. Since it was my sister's farewell talk at church, I stayed up since sleeping from 7:20 til 8 seemed pretty pointless. After church I came home and crashed from 1200 til 530. Mindy and I went to my parents for dinner. By 7 I was toast, so Mindy and I went home to bed. I slept until 730 the next morning. Monday, REJUVENATION COMPLETE! I felt like a million dollars, awake and sentient. good. This week has been phenomenal. I can't belive how much different I feel, having slept enough to cure my circadian reversal.

SSDD

Back to the glue factory again. Conference weekend was great though I was only able to make it to two sessions. Work went really well too. Friday, I only slept 2-3 hours before and I was afraid that I would be completley braindead. I was right. I drifted through work in a dazed stupor. The shift started with some blood cultures. It was an old man. I could feel his median cubital right in his AC, but it was pretty hard. SInce that was the only one he had going that wasn't purple for miles around, I decided to poke. Of course I had tandem blood cultures with a lot of other bloodwork too, just perfect for a hard stick. I poked him with a syringe, got the flash but not much else. I changed the needle position slightly, hoping the bevel was just sucking up against the vein wall. Still no luck. I only got about 1.5 mils out of him. Grr. So I withdrew the needle and gauzed him up. Time for the ped's bottle. Pediatric blood culture bottles only need 1-5 mils, so I was ok there. I put the blood in the peds bottle and scouted another place for the second poke. Blood cultures are usually paired to give an accurate assessment of the spread of a bacterial infection. His right hand was promising, so I looked there. Just a little pinch I told him, pushing the needle into the back of his hand. Of course his rubbery vein scooted to the side. Time to reposition and try again. This time I got a flash in the butterfly. Success! Of course he was none too generous, only gave me 8 mils. I neede 12 for the other cultures and more for the blood work. I put 5 of the 8 into an areobic culture bottle and split the rest for his blood work.
As I had expected, I was pretty zombie-like during the shift. I lurched my way through the midnight charting from 1-3 am, until lunch time. After break I was slated to do the 5th floor (surgical) for morning canvas. Normally 5 main has a lot of draws, and this morning I had 22. After 5 am I hit a groove and started blazing through my draws, lots of vacutainable people in a row helped to make up time. At 7, Mindy came to pick me up and I was homeward bound. I slept until 1130.