From the annals of Dr. Longfinger

Dear Sr. Sassy in Md.
Your most recent correspondance bordered on the unquietly dignified. If, however, we are to be scatalogical, let us then be so utterly scatalogical as to collapse in a fit of giggles over the meerest mention of poo. As in teh poo-r in spirit. Let me regale you with an acoount of fecal woes unparalleled. Occaisonally, in the hospital setting, there are times when it becomes necessary to induce a BM in a patient. One such a chance was two weeks ago in the medical ICU at Sacred Heart. Your beloved Dr. Longfinger was in his customary disguise as a phlebotomist for Oregon Medical Labs. As he padded down the hall, his poorly made cart chattering all the way, a wretched miasma filled his nose and mouth. Unsuccessfully trying not to gag, he walked past the room from which the stench emanated. Dorren, the nurse staggered out of the room, halfway between laughter and nausea. I asked what had happened. He told me that he had just seen the world's largest poop. How big? I asked, my morbid curiousity piqued. The size of a newborn, he replied grinning and gagging. By smell alone I could not doubt the veracity of his assertion. He told me that the nurse was trying unsuccessfully to flush it down the toilet. Hmm, I thought to myself, would I try to flush a poop the size of a child down the toilet ? NO. But, I am not a registered nurse, so such "outside the box" (read: poorly concieved) solutions are beyond my grasp.
Q: I have a hospitalized relative who is quite dear to me. The nurses who are attending her seem, however, to be less than teh Florence Nightingales I expect to see roaming the hospital. Should I be concerned for her wellbeing? or is she in good hands?
-Fretful in Fresno