The Inexorable, Implacable Waitlist

Well folks, I recieved an update from UVM on Sunday that the adcom had reviewed my file and I would be notified regarding their decision soon. Monday morning I checked again, as I obsessively do, and I have been put on the waitlist at UVM. This isn't quite as cheering as an outright "Come to UVM!", but it's orders of magnitude better than "We don't want your kind here". So, now the long, impatient waiting game begins. The webpage says that the rankings on the waitlist will be posted on May 15. AUUUGH!!!! ME NO WAITEE! UVM only tells you which third of the waitlist you're on, top, middle or bottom. This is both a curse and a blessing. It does remove the dreaded "I'm 200th inline for a spot", but it also removes any knowledge that you might be picked first. At the moment, at least according to SDN (see my links), several instaters who were waitlisted on monday have already been accepted. Oh to be a vermonter. Presumably once the necessary quota of instaters has been acceptted, they will plumb the waitlist. THere are a few out of staters (OOS'ers to teh SDN initiates) who have been accepted already, so who knows. The scuttlebutt is that the waitlist is pretty dynamic and fast moving, unlike those at other schools. I wll keep you all posted of any and all developments that transpire.

Further Elucidation

So, perhaps I shall regale you with a more detailed account of my day at OHSU.
The day began with a brief presentation about the curriculum from the assistant dean. In the interest of time, he kept his presentation to a minimum, deferring to us to ask questions to fuel the discussion. I think this was rather less effective as a presentation style. We asked a few questions, and I did learn that after the interview invite stage, in-state status plays no role in the admissions process. There was no presentation on financial aid, perhaps because OHSU has so little to offer in the way of assistance to students. At about 0900 we were dismissed.
Since I had my first interview at 1100, I had about two hours to kill before go time. Two other students and I grabbed a bite in the cafeteria and made nervous applicant small talk. Both were Oregonians, so we chatted briefly about the climbers on Mt. Hood, and other tidbits from the news. We parted company and I wandered about the hospital and facilities, mapping out my route to the interview point. I sat twiddling my thumbs on the largest covered skybridge in North America until about 1030. In retrospect, I probably should have reviewed some of the things that I had written in my OHSU essay, but my fevered brain forgot.
At about 1030, I navigated the labyrinthine VA hospital to the 4th floor where the Pulmonology department is. A man waiting for his dad to finish a procedure and I chatted briefly as we waited. At about 1055 I meandered into the proper hallway. Dr. H. and I then met. He was about 5'10'', blond, and safely ensconssed behind his desk. As I noted in my previous post, his first question to me was "where is your dad from". I stuttered that he was from upstate NY. Wouldn't you know it, but Dr. H was from Syracuse. I then backpedalled that he also grew up in Chicago. He asked me about my mom, her degrees, what my dad did, what my sister is up to, and other questions that were pretty much along the same vein. The conversation then shifted to my motivations for medicine, and I recounted the same stories that I had already shared in my personal statement for AMCAS. He askd me about times when I had had disagreements with my co-workes, and I told him about how I dealt with Elder Keyes,( not manslaughter, that was how I wanted to deal with him). We also chatted about what I expected from a career in medicine, what I thought would be hard, and what would be rewarding. I told him that I wanted to have a career where I could go home at night and say that someone was alive because I came to work. To this he replied "So you need other's validation. Are you insecure?" Umm, no. I just want a career with an intrinsic meaning. What other careers also fulfill this qualification? I replied that medical social work, physical therapy, nursing all fulfilled these requirements, but that none of the professions required the depth and breadth of knowledge required by medicine. I prefer the acuity of medicine and these allied health careers did not fulfill my expectations. I think my answer mollified him somewhat, though he was pretty hard to read. My voice was tired after about 30 minutes of talking, but we still had another half hour to go before the end of the ordeal. At the end of the interview, he asked if I had any questions, and I asked if, during the rural medicine rotation, I had to leave my family behind for the duration of my rotation. He didn't know, which was moderately frustrating since implicit in his question to me was that he would be able to answer my questions in return. I got my answer at lunch anyway. At the end of the interview he told me that his goal wasn't to make me feel uncomfortable, but that he was just trying to get good answers to his questions. He told me not to feel that the interview didn't go well just because he was direct in his interrogation. Easier said than done.
I hustled my butt back to the Dean's office to scarf down the remaining half-sandwich and chat with disaffected medical students. I say they were disaffected, but rather they collectively fell into the trap of the 'insider's knowledge' . Since they were loath to say something negative about the school, they resorted to backhanded references to their distaste. They were more candid answering some questions we asked them, especially abut mundanities like parking and leisure activities.
The ensuing tour was none too impressive, featuring the aforementioned skybridge. The classrooms themselves seemed nice, but the other parts of the academic campus seemed rather run-down. They reminded me of the less nice parts of Klamath Hall, Onyx Bridge, and Pacific Hall at the UO. Functional, yes. Impressive, no. Also, if I were training tour guides, I would not have them lead tour groups down back staircases and loading docks, since they aren't very visually striking, and give the impression that the entire campus is ugly and utilitarian.
Following the less than stellar tour, was the day's most execrable performance by yours truly. At the time of this writing, two days after the fact, I can't remember most of what I said, only unpleasant little vignettes punctuated by witty rejoinders of what I would have said. Dr W. was extremely difficult to read as an interviewer. She would have done Vegas proud as a professional poker player. One unpleasantness that I remember was her question, what do you like about OHSU. To this I replied, I like the early clinical exposure afforded by the preceptor progam, and the integrated curriculum during teh first two years. Is that all? she replied. I said yes, since the remaining curriculum is quite similar to other schools to which I'm applying. Isn't there more? WOMAN! I just told you the answer to your question. Every time I've had something additional to say, you've interrupted my answers. What can I say beyond what I have said? I just answered your question as truthfully as I can!. Her question seems perfectly benign when read in the text of my blog enrty, but in reality her tone was quite snide. Too the uninitiated, OHSU's first two years consist of two classes: PCM which is your clinical exposure, including preceptorships. The other class is your lecture class, which presents info in an integrated format. There is nothing else. My answer to her question essentially told her that I was interested in OHSU because the format of the first two years really appealed to me. Arrgh., I kept my cool, but her question nettled me pretty well. The entire experience was interminable. I remember thinking 5 minutes into the interview that the ordeal would never end. Imagine every awkward conversation you've ever had and roll them into one hour long sufferfest and you've pretty well summarized the interview. She asked me why should I be admitted over all the other qualified applicants, and what qualities did I have that distinguished me from other applicants. Ugh. The entire experience was utterly awful and not something I would wish to repeat.
My experience there really turned me off to OHSU, not from a pedagogical standpoint, but from a thousand intangible factors which didn't make me feel comfortable there. At the moment, the only attractive features are the price tag and the two years of preceptorship during the pre-clinical years. Compared to OHSU, Vermont is an edenic paradise. The only downside is the 60k price tag. Well writing this blog entry has been pretty cathartic. I only have to wait 5 weeks to hear back from them, then if i'm waitlisted, I'll have to wait until May 15 to find out where I am on the waitlist, then I have to wait until August to find out if I get in. What fun! ugh. Stay tuned to this bat channel, readers and I'll keep you abreast of every developement as the news breaks.

OHSU = not fun

WEll folks, the day at OHSU was thoroughly ugly and distasteful. It began with a rush-hour panic on the way to the OHSU campus becasue I thought I wouldn't get there on time, but would get stuck in Wilsonville on I-5. To be brief, the interviews did not go well. My first interviewer grilled me more or less conversationally for an hour. My first gaffe was in response to the very first question- 'where is my dad from', to which i erroneously answered upstate new york, then changed my mind to Chicago. great. He asked, "that's kind of important to know, isn't it". Is it? I don't think so. Since my dad and I don't converse regularly, it's hardly surprising that I don't know where he was born. the rest of the day went downhill.

The Balance of Rejection

Well I have another rejection to add to the growing list. Thursday Dartmouth rejected me without an interview. But I wrote such a wonderful review in this Blog! Oh well. To counteract the rejection, OHSU asked me to interview with them next month. YEHAWW. That's great, and it means I'd better start brushing up on my health care policy and other interview topics.
-SS

Ragefest

So, it has been brought to my attention by a loyal reader that the bulk of my blog is made up of rants about incompetant nurses. I have vowed to change in the past, but sometimes the circumstances force me to recant. I shall henceforth attempt to balance every humorous anecdote about a bumbling co-worker with a heartwarming tale of medical tenderness.
In the interest of ceasing my meta-blogging, I will return to the original premise of this blog, my premed life. I urge you all to use MDapplicants.com to follow how my application process is going, my profile is pretty easily found using the search functions. For those who are too lazy to do so, here is the process as it now stands:

Interviews:
University of Vermont

Rejections:
George Washington (snail mail 11/20)
Northwestern University Feinberg SOM
Indiana University
Boston University

Holds:
Albany Medical College

Remaining applications:
OHSU
Loyola
Jefferson
Loma Linda
Dartmouth (C'mon Dirtmouth!!)
McGill
St. Louis U
Tufts
Drexel
Temple
Louisville
Penn State
Rush University
Medical College of Wisconsin

Of those applications still outstanding, I expect interviews at OHSU and hope for one at Loma Linda and McGill. Of course any of the remaining schools would be great as well, but I think realistically those are my best options.

The Jerk Nurse

So, I won't name names, but Nurse M. from PCU is a schmuck! I can't stand this woman! She embodies incompetence! She was rude and inconsiderate both to me, her coworker and to the patient. I ask you this. After a patient finishes puking up his guts into an emesis basin, do you think he wants to think about eating more? No. Why offer him something? Perhaps he absolutely needed to have something in his stomach, and I don't know those mitigating circumstances. I've had run-ins with M before. She tried to do capillary blood glucose test from a patient's earlobe. Ok, but the protocols explicitly state that under NO circumstances is this to be done! Finger ONLY! Since the earlobe wasn't working, where should you turn to get blood. From the fingertip like you should? NO!, but from the forearm! Yes, there are plenty of veins and arteries in the arm. This, however, is a CBG, to be done from capillary blood. The moron tried 3 more times, and undoubtedly the 1 mm lancet barely pierced the dead skin on the guy's arm. Since she struck out, she finally resorted to following procedure, and what do you know? She got blood! WOW! Can you imagine? If you do something the way you should, it should turn out the way it should!

Interview

So it's been a long time since I've updated the ol' blog. Faithful readers, I HAVE AN INTERVIEW!! On nov. 28, I have an interview at University of Vermont! I'm flying out Nov 27, back home by midnight 28. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Sprint finish

WEll i'm finally puttin' the boogie on my apps. For two weeks I've had Loma Linda, Louisville, Georgetown, OHSU and McGill waiting to be finished and submitted. I finally just submitted Louisville. I don't really think they'll like me too much since I'm not a poor apalachian hick( they asked a lot of questions about underserved status, how big my hometown was, how much education my parents have, how much money they make, did I put myself through college etc.). I finally declared Loma Linda done today as well and submitted their app. I think I'm not going to finish applying to GT since they want a one page essay detailing why I want to go there. Since I can't think of any compelling reasons, and their curriculum is pretty non-descript, I think I'l forgo the $130 donation and apply elsewhere. It's not that I can't write an essay, It's just that I don't want it badly enough that the essay I write will get me in. Auugh. I'm just muddling things now. I just finished McGill's online portion, but there is A LOT of paperwork that I have to send in also. They want my AP, IB, SAT (who cares? i finished my undergrad! this stuff is OLD NEWS), plus some forms to go with my letters of rec. Gotta run

The Perforated Testicle

Yes, it is time for Dr. Fingerbottom's ramblings. He has changed his name, due to a syndicated column published by Aaron Tabacco who pioneered the Dr. Longfinger's name. In the interest of avoiding a copyright infringement suite, my sarcastic doctor is now Dr. Fingerbottom, Dr. Longfinger's partner (in a professional relationship).
As I was fixin' to leave work today, a histology tech grabbed my coworker and me and said "you gotta see this!". Curious, we trotted over to histology lab. The tech, we shall call him "Pooch", because I misheard his name and that's what it sounded like, showed as a small recepticle with 5 small pins in it. They looked about like those pins that hold your watchband to the watch. "Where do you think these came from ?" he asked. Umm, I give, where? "A man's testicle", he deadpanned. This begs the question: 'what was he doing? " He supposedly hopped into bed, where some pins were hidden in the sheets", Pooch answered. If you believe that, I have some clichés to tell you about real estate in florida and bridges which are for sale.
the moral of the story: If you're going to pierce your testicles, please, please, please, use a needle that's long enough to come out the other side. If you don't, I hope you're smart enough to realize that after the first one doesn't go all the way through, you don't have to try four others of identical lengt to achieve the same result.

Latin disclaimer: Caveat Lector: I am suspicious of this type of injury. The man's story could be entirely plausible. He might have mistakenly placed his pincushion in the bed, while performing some minor surgery on his favorite french-cuffed dress shirt. After succesfully repairing the beloved clothing, he was exulting at the prospect of donning the garment for tomorrow's gainful employement. He gleefully hopped into bed, so as to hasten the approaching dawn. To his ghastlly surprise, there was the pincushion, which, to his horror bit him in the You Know What. He must have rushed down to the ER, had the Pins of Inadvertant Perforation (PIP's to those in the medical field) removed and gone to work in the newly refurbished oxford cloth dress shirt.

More latin: Arma Virumque Cano, or " I sing of the man who might have pierced his testicles by accident, but who probably did not"

Still more latin: Yo No Soy Marinero, Soy Capitan, Soy Capitan. Or " Et tu Brutus, alla gallia in tres partitas divisa est" which, to those of us in english means "Brutus, where can I get some good cheap lares and penates for my penthouse domus?

The Stim Test

Lest, by some slight of fate, I have actually accrued an interested and critical readership to my ramblings, (*shameless trolling for comments!*), and said readers are nurses, let me remind you, that, in general, I hold nurses in the highest regards. WITH A FEW MORONIC EXCECPTIONS. SO, here we go, I will regale you with yet another tale of blundering idiocy on the hospital floor.
'Twas brillig, and the slithey toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All ... No, no, that's all wrong. That was how I slew the Jabberwocky. Beware of the JubJub bird and Shun the Frumious Bandersnatch was the moral of that tale.
Ahh yes. Wednesday morning, 'twas canvas time on a darkened 3 main. I was pushing my wobbly cart through the corridors, on my way to the next patient. It was a cortisol stim test. For the uninitiated, who have not yet been shaved and forced to prance around San Diego (another story for another time), I shall succinctly explain the cortisol stim test. Basically, the doc wants to know how the patient responds to teh presence of teh hormone cortisol. The lab draws a baseline leve, the nurse injects IV ACTH (adrenocorticotropic hormone), we come back to draw EXACTLY 30 minutes later, and again 1 hour after the baseline was drawn. Not rocket science. The toughest part actually, is to get there on time. Before I drew the baseline, I checked with the nurse that we were in fact doing a stim test and not a simple cort level becasue I didn't have the orders which would have indicated a stim test. She said, 'yes, we are doing a stim test'. I asked "do you have the injection ready for when I'm done (slight cockiness that I would in fact get the patient)". OK. "I'll inject it a half hour from now". NO. I don't htink that's how this usually works, shielding myself from some possible exception. "Let's see what the chart says, she suggested". Flipping through the pages, we found a blurry flowchart from pharmacy, detailing the exact protocol for stimtests which I outlined previously. Turning some more pages to make sure the doctor didn't order some exotic exception, we found the written order "perform ACTH stimulation test, per pharmacy protocol" In other words, do exactly as I have already said. I thought that three explanations were sufficient. "I'm going to draw the patient" I said. Ok, she replied, when you're done, I'll give the injection. GOOD, i thought, now we're getting somewhere. As I left the room, baseline blood in hand, she said, "see you in a half hour", which, to me, meant that she was now going to give the injection and we would proceed as planned. I continued my merry way. Since the lab called me away to another floor in the meantime, I knew someone else was going to finish the stim test. Once I got to the lab, however, word came back that the dolt nurse had waited the half hour she had promised to, even after going through the procedure in excruciating detail. SO, the whole thing had to start again, since the baseline I had drawn was worthless. WHAT THE CRAP DO YOU LEARN IN SCHOOL? I MEAN COME ON!!!!! We read the orders from pharmacy. We read the docs orders. I explained how it works. All of this took place in less than 5 minutes. Yet, within 7 minutes, she had somehow learned A TOTALLY NEW PROTOCOL and ruined what work I had done. AUUUUGHHH. I swear, if I"m ever an elected official, I will see to it that all correspondance schoools that offer "nursing degrees online" are disavowed and de-credentialled.

I hate corporate english

So, this is a direct quote from teh Temple University SOM website regarding the Geisinger Hospital satelite campus for medical education:

"The program enters students into the new paradigm of patient-centered care, an information environment that provides high-exposure, transparent outcomes data on quality and cost, and a consumer/regulatory base that is demanding this information. "

KEEP THE CORPORATE CONSULTANTS AWAY FROM ANYTHING THAT NORMAL PEOPLE MUST READ. I think when people get their MBA's they are issued a 20 sided die with words like "paradigm", "transparent", "outcomes-based", "customer oriented", "impact (as a verb)" which they employ more or less randomly with prose that reads like the tripe above.

Forms = Great. Essays = Not Great

I'm filling out secondaries, and I've decided that the best ones are the forms that consist of questions like "have you ever attended University X?" ,"Have any of your family members?" "are you a convicted felon?" " Can you send us $80?"
Thank you and have a nice day!
Much better than " tell us something you think we should know in 500 letters or less (yes, letters, not words)"
checklist:
Submitted:
Penn State
St. Louis U
Medical College of Wisc

Dirt Mouth is Heav-ON

So I've been "working" on my Dartmouth medical school app and they have these cool little video clips. They make a rather persuasive case for going to live in New England. Now, all I have to do is get in and I'll be fine.

What did I do?

Since the last bunch of text went online from yours truly, I have been on vacation. I was not saving the amputees of Darfur or making glass eyes in Nigeria. No, the perpetual pre-med was on a self indulgent vacation. The first part of this break was pretty much a sufferfest. Two friends, Chris and Seth (you made it into my blog!), our wives and I decided to bike the length of the Oregon coast. For the uninitiated, that's 360 miles of rugged hilly highway. Not a bad little road trip, until you considert he time constraint we had given ourselves. 3 days. 120 miles a day. That's pretty reasonable if you're on flat ground, but we werent. WE averaged 16 mph, climbed 15000 feet, and travelled a long way. WE eventually called it quits in Gold Beach, about 30 miles from the california border. I was so sore I could barely pedal, my triceps were so tired I could hardly stay upright on the bike. Stopping was a joy, but restarting was murder. I was sore for 3 days.
Part two of the vacation was a 3 day camping trip in Idaho at Bear Lake. Mindy and I covered 4 states in this vacation, Oregon, Idaho, Utah and small corner of Wyoming. WE could aslo see Washington as we drove downt the Gorge. After this we chilled at the in-laws for 3 days in Shelley Idaho. So, that is all and since I was out o f Email contact, no updation of the blog was possible. Todya I spent the afternoon working on the secondaries from Boston U and Penn State.

And cooler heads prevailed

Well, despite fear mongering from SDN, I don't think that adcoms are going to delve into the internet searching for yours truly's blog to see if I'm nice. Since there's no connection between my SDN, MDapplicants, AMCAS and Blogspot accounts, I think they'll be lucky to find me.

A penchant for fear mongering

So, after reading a bunch of paranoid pre-meds on SDN post about how adcoms read blogs, SDN posts, and MDapps profiles, I've decided to modify the blog a little. You'll notice that the name has changed, and I will, from henceforth, attemtp to reign in my comments about my co-workers. FORGIVE ME ADCOMS, For I meant only to garner laughs, not to defame others! ME SORRY.

You will die here

So, after swearing off knocking nurses, here I am, back at it. The following anecdote (antidote if you will) is hearsay, so give it what credence you will. Two days ago a nurse called from orthopedic wanting a drain. We don't have drains. Drains are in the stores closet. OML is a LABORATORY, just like it says in our name! She was somewhat mollified, but then called back several times wanting to know when we were going to come out and change the drain. YOU STUPID MORON! LAB ≠ NURSE OR DOCTOR. My advice, never leave a loved one alone. Never let them do anything to you. And above all, never let the lab change your wound drain. Let the doctor do it, it's his job anyway. (or the nurse).

They come dumber every day

I thought I was done ripping on co-workers, but sometimes they surpass themselves. So, late last week I was called into CSU (cardiac surgical unit- post open heart surgury unit) to do a critical CBC (blood count). Somebody thought this guy was bleeding and wanted to know NOW. I had drawn him several times in PCU and knew he had a PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) from which a nurse could draw blood, obviating the need for a stick. I asked the nurse if this was possible, she said 'no' because she didn't want to waste the 5mL of blood necessary before drawing the specimen. OK, since the guy's a bleeder, that's understandable. I'll stick him then. I walk into the room, sit down on a chair next to his bed, ID him, and start searching his hand for a vein. I found one, and began drawing blood slowly. Meanwhile, the nurse, anxious for her CBC, calls the lab for results. The lab passes on the love to me, thinking I haven't drawn this critical patient yet. After I finish I answer the phone, tell them I just did him , and ask what'sl the problem. The nurse wanted the results! Ummm Yeah, she could see me IN the room as she called the lab. We're fast but we still need to actually ANALYZE the blood before we can release results. Crikey! how do these people pass their board examinations! AAAUGH.

Ketchup

29P. This is the MCAT score folks. I got it, i died, I recovered, I decided to run with it. If I have to, I'll retake it in January on the CBT. So, Finals went ok. just ok. Orgo killed me, i wound up getting a B in the easiest term. AUUUGH. The genetics exam was excruciating. The class average was 33/88. yep, 33 points. wow. I did better than that, but not much. Micro and Micro Lab were pretty easy. I'm currently finishing up the ol' AMCAS application, working on the personal statement. NOT MY FINEST WRITING so far. It needs to be, but i only have about 150 letters before I reach the max character limit. wonderful. So school is done for the summer, to my vast relief. all I have to do now is to fill out secondaries as they come floating in. YAY. More Essays! Regarding letters, I have all the academic ones i need, but i need to cajole my boss into writing me one. I asked her but she said that there might be some HR policy against it. ASININE POLICY! HI, i'm not leaving for another job, but a school. As a physician, I would probably bring in more income to OML than they have spent on my wages, so for them, it would be a net gain to get me into medical school! They have nothign to lose! AUUUGH.

AHHH

Well I have been engrossed in my AMCAS personal statement, SDN, school etc.. I think that nobody looks at this blog, so I don't feel too bad about not posting regularly.
Application Status:
- Letters of rec. requested
-AMCAS mostly filled out excepting some IB/AP questions.
-Last midterm taken
-Shadowing lined up
-Have to get more volunteer experience

Now, I MUST finish my personal statement!
ttfn

Zoolander, You will be.... DERELICTE!

Well, yes readers, I have been derelicte!! I am not, however, the garbage clad spokesman for Jacobim Mugatu's newest line of haute couture clothing. Perhaps more accurately, I have been derelict, minus the e. Since our last broadcast, I have taken the MCAT, a genetics exam, a micro practical exam, and an orgo exam. Those all went ok (the jury is still out on micro and genetics.) SO, what you're all waiting for: How was the MCAT?
MCAT= grueling sufferfest. It was 8 hours long and by the end my brain was fried. As you pre-meds out there know, the MCAT begins with physical sciences. I was a nervous wreck. I had to pee during the exam which probably cost me a few precious seconds. The form I had was seemingly all physics, almost no gen chem. great. just great. After that chore was done, it was verbal reasoning. AH HAH! My strong point! I think it went pretty well, since I can read fast and critically. I made sure to read all the liberal arts passages first since those are my strong suite. I finished with about 10 minutes to spare.
*lunch* ate lunch with brad and Kyle. We discussed the demerits of the all-physics-all-the-time Physical sciences.
After lunch was the writing section with two ridiculous prompts. I don't think I've written so poorly since I was in high school. Oh well. Then bio. I think bio went pretty well, at least I felt ok about it. My own feelings regarding how I think I did are not indicative of real achievement, as I have learned through practice tests.
Overall impression: physical sciences was not as good as I would have liked. My only comfort is that a lot of other people probably found it difficult. BS and VR are big question marks. Writing, doesn't really matter, if the conventional wisdom of pre-meds is to be believed.

T minus 40 hours

Well faithful readers, the countdown has begun for the MCAT. I have been tapering the studying this week, much like a marathoner. I just want this stupid thing to be done so I can get back to actually studying for my classes. I've been hit hard by Ochem quizzes this term which I haven't really spent any time studying for. Same goes for genetics which is tough tough tough. I feel pretty ready, at least ready enough to get a 29-31 which would be enough for me. I will return and bring you word when the great test is done.
-g

I test the body electric

Well my transcendental journey is complete. I have evolved from a historian liberal arts type into a scientist. If, that is, you extrapolate my personality from my MCAT scores, as I justifiably do. The reason for my conclusion, specious though it is, is that I just scored 11 on the physical sciences while scoring 9 on verbal reasoning. Bravo Physical sciences! Down With Rhetoric!!!
test question for you MCAT junkies out there: If the body electric radiates heat at 500 W, and a current of 14 A is flowing through the body, then what maximal potential difference exists on the plates of a parallell plate capacitor assuming an alternating current?


answer: This was a trick question!!! BWahahahaha! the MCAT only tests DC circuits.
Correlary Test question: Assuming DC then, what is the potential difference?

Solution: P=IV, so V=P/I we have then: V=500/14 =37 V (approx).

Ohm's law has also enabled us to transcend both physics and literature, because we can now figure out what kind of resistance the ol' transcendenatlist (how many times can i work that word into this blog entry?) Walt Whitman was talking about when he "Sang the Body Electric".
Solution: V=IR, so R=V/I and you can do the math yourself.

El Grande Turd del muerte

Well spring break was great, I just studied for teh MCAT and biked most of the time. Kennie and Margie, my in-laws, came into town for the weekend. I have been cramming for the MCAT most of the time. Today I took my first full lenght practice exam, with mixed results. I got an aggregate score of 28, V10, B9, P9 . The P9 was encouragin, but I need to step it up in the Bio department. The verbal component is freaking hard! I thought with my history background in reading difficult things that it would be no problem. perhaps it would have been two years ago when I was in the habit of reading academic prose rather than textbooks. This term brings me to my penultimate coursework at UO. I'm in Micro BIo, Micro lab, Ochem, and Molecular genetics. Genetics seems like it's going to be a big pain in the fundament. The teacher seems to be singularly unenthused about her material. Always an encouraging sign on the first day of class. And, my favorite, we were let out 30 minutes early. HELLO!!! I am paying to come to this so you can teach me genetics!!! May I have some tuition money back please? I just got an email back from a professor telling me we could meet to discuss working in his research group !!! YAY. THe last of my extracurriculars to get done!

By the skin of my teeth

Well, dearest reader,
You have no doubt waited on tenterhooks for the latest installment in George's moderately interesting life. Finals week ended on friday with the Ochem final. I haven't gotten the paper exam back yet, but it went pretty well. 30 hours of studying paid off. The ol' grades have come in and the forecast is good. A term average of 3.89! yay. Still trying to drag up those grades from freshman and sophomore year. I have just spent the last several hours trying to prep for the MCAT, which is in a scant 3 weeks. I took a practice PHysical sciences section, and it went well. The challenging thing to remember is all teh relationships that I have learned along the way. I feel pretty upbeat about the whole applications process. well i think the library is closing, so I will have to wrap up.
-g

The Emerald Strikes Again!

In yet another bout of journalistic intolerance and polemic pulchritude, the Oregon Daily Emerald has really outshone itself today. On the ever imbecilic editorial page the author spouted her plagiairized ideas. Should we expect less of the emerald? NO! Drawing heavily on John Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven", his anti-religious soapbox, she asserts that "Joseph Smith could certainly be termed mentally ill for his belief in this personal connection with God, " Nice. For a publication that spends inordinate amounts of space extolling the need for tolerance and diversity, this statement demonstrates how truly at odds the writers of the Emerald are with their espoused values. Fortunatly, having served a two year mission, I know that regardless of what some pea-brained bigot with a newspaper column may have to say, the work with go forth unimpeded. Thank you Emerald for perking both my day and my ire!

for those of you who wish to read her tripe and the poorly concieved arguments couched therein can go to:

http://www.dailyemerald.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/03/13/4415342949518

Snow!!!!

It snowed recently, ( the date might be wrong for this post), so I will show y'all what it looked like in our little yard with Frosty and co.

Modern day John Henry seeks to outstudy his companions

Well, ok, the title was plagiarized from a recent Onion headline. Sort of anyway. I like the blog format because, like most internet correspondences, somehow I am free from the normal constraints of grammar and punctuation. Well, the MCAT is a scant 6 weeks away and of course what do I have to distract me from preparing? One the count of three. One...two...three..! An OCHEM exam!! yay. So here I sit in the library trying to force some carbonyl chemistry into me brain. It's only been 4 hours straight, so I'll be ok since i have another hour and change before the formal review session. That will make a nice round 8 hours of Ochem, exclusive of the time spent in reviews and PLTL sessions. Well rather than entertain you with woes of studying, I will now return to the cramfest, already in progress.

Ahh my old friend STRESS

So, I registered for the MCAT today, anddif am now $200 poorer. This exam stresses teh crap out of me at the moment. I took a practice Bio section last week and did ok, I got a 9. For a first attemtp, it was not too bad. Fortunatly the biological stuff is the most recent and easiest to recall. I am currently working on a physical sciences portion and it is kickin my trash. I really have to go back a ways to remember my gen chem and physics, despite the fact that i have taken them within the last year. There are so many different formulae to remember. Right now it seems that the only things I can remember are how to convert grams to moles and some bare bones of kinematics. I think i'll have to get out some flashcards to remember some of this crap. So my question, along with many other premeds prepping for this monster, is this: When I'm confronted with a patient who's ill and needs an accurate quick diagnosis, are they going to want to know if I can figure out how fast a block of ice slides down an incline? NO. Ok, in fairness, the MCAT tests problems solving and reasoning within a scientific context, so testing if I know how to figure out this problem is valid. I don't think, however, that this particular scenario which is based in its ideal Newtonian universe would ever present itself as a life and death situation. The bottom line here is that this exam is in less than two months and I don't feel prepared. Fortunatly however, instead of being able to concentrate on this exam like I should, I have other classes clamoring for my attention.
Dear Universe: Thank you internet for gobbling up the abstract which I sent my Bio professor two weeks ago. It's due today after I make the corrections he was supposed to email me. Did he? no. Was I able to make the corrections in time? no. Did I email him several days ago about this? yes. Did he get back before the due time? no. Does this totallly suck? yes. Did he give the class an extension 'til tomorrow? yes. Is this a blessing most fortunate? yes.
More yes/no's:
Have I been plagued with a headache for the last 3 days ? yes
Do I doubt my ability to get into medical school sometimes? yes.
Is it high time I quit my bellyaching and get back to work so that when crunch time hits I can panic, but panic prepared? yes.
Is the lovely gentleman 20 feet away listening to his iPod so loud that the rest of us can enjoy it too? yes.
Will I have this problem in twenty years? no.
why?
he will be deaf.
In the meantime however, I predict his iPod will get progressively louder as his eardrums get progressively more calcified. There will be a critical volume where his entire head is vibrating in resonance with his iPod, and then, with a massive convulsion, his ears will bleed and he will wonder why he listened to rockabilly loud enough to drown out a passing 747.

Shooting the curl

Well it seems my post exam glee was justified and I did quite well on the ol' examin. Now I'm engrossed in my long postponed studying for the MCAT. It's really hard to find time to study for this thing because my other school work always seems to get in the way. Friday however, I finally buckled down to hit the ol' Kaplan MCAT tome. My gen chem and physics it seems are rather fuzzy and I made a lot of mistakes. That's where the two months of cramming come in. Make the mistakes now, learn from them, and keep going. So readers, if you are there, please don't hesitate to post some feedback. I feel a little like the voice in the wilderness shouting to an unknown audience.

Booyah!

So, my faithful readers , if you exist, have no doubt been concerned at the apparent lack of activity on this blog. Do not fear, this does not presage a return to the megalomaniacal rantings of Dr. Longfinger,MD. I have, rather, been otherwise engaged in studying for my 2nd Ochem midterm. Since saturday evening I have put in a total of 35 hours over 5 days for this exam. But today it seems that my hard work paid off and that i did well. During our post exam debriefing, Sean, Brad, Kyle, Tony and I swapped answers and it seems that things turned out well for the gilkster. IT remains to be seen, however, how i did officially on the school website.......

Why He is Wrong!

In response to “Attention nonsmokers: Butt out of our choices” Jan 31 editorial: Bradley frame smoking as an infringement up on the rights of small business owners, rather than as a public health concern. A more accurate assessment would also include the high insurance premiums these small businesses pay because millions of smokers tax the health care system with preventable illnesses. Which is the greater burden, the loss of a few dozen customers or the irretrievable health damage which must be paid for by healthy, nonsmokers? In your article, he claims that the intervention on the part of the government is unreasonable, yet there is no justification. How is it impinging the rights of business owners? Is it reducing the quantity of patrons to their restaurant or bar? Do you have any data to support your assertion that a smoking ban has somehow hurt businesses? Or is it that since he is inconvenienced, the world must also be inconvenienced and put out too? I know of no legally binding document that lists smoking as an inalienable right.
Bradley’s piece actually touches on a broader question, should the desires of a few people be permitted when they are detrimental to the health and safety of the majority? When the choices of one group impinge upon those of another, it is the province of government, be it city, state, or federal to intervene. In this case then, the city government is not “unreasonable restricting the choices of business owners” , it is rather, restricting the rights of smokers to benefit the greater population. One of the tasks of government, as outlined in the US Constitution, is to “promote the general welfare”. A smoking ban, then, is perfectly acceptable since it promotes the general welfare. Smokers, as you point out, are allowed to choose to smoke. The remainder of the population, however, should not, be involuntarily subject to second hand smoke because a smoker exercises his “right” to smoke. In short, the smoker has the dubious right to endanger his own health, but the government has the duty to safeguard the health of others. As a consequence, the smoker is ostracized.

-George

Link to OP-Ed piece

Since I don't want to violate some copyright law, I'll simply post the link the online text of this crappy article for your convenience.

http://www.dailyemerald.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/01/31/43df3be985270#feedback

SMOKING IS ASININE

SO, in today's Daily Emerald, our perennial source of poorly written op-ed pieces displaying a dearth of logic and a wealth of vitriole, a piece decrying Eugene Oregon's smoking ban in restaurants was published. In responded to this execrable piece because it was too awful to pass up. In responding, I took a legalistic federalist approach, though to debunk and rebutt it you could take the equally easy "smoking is unhealthy" tack as well.

I will publish both in separate posting so you can see them in their respective crapulence and glory
-G

veni vedi vici

Ok, Perhaps Caesar's hyperbole regarding gaul (i think) is excessive for my exam. Suffice it to say, however, that I got an A. What a relief. I really need to kick it into gear for the weekly quizzes to mitigate the effects of potentially poor exam showing in the future. My current project is writing my Bio paper on the B-type natriuretic peptide. I'm struggling with direction right now. If any of my faithful readers have some input or know anything about it, drop me a line and I'll send you an autographed t-shirt and mug.

Sprinter in the blocks

Well this week's major trial is over, the first Ochem midterm. After studying nonstop for about a week, I took the test. There were a few dodgy bits, but mostly it went well. The only thing I was clueless about was a question regarding aromaticity of a double ring system connectied by a double bond. I forgot about electron withdrawing tendencies, so I think I pretty much bombed that question. Fortunately, It's only 6 points out 90. Hopefully the next exam goes just as well as this. Funny thing, this morning after bio, I felt totally relaxed and calm. I studied for the two hours between nevertheless and I helped, I was more confident on sulfide and thiol substitution reactions. IF the faithful reader is clueless about what this means, good. Suffice it to say, last minute cramming paid off.
After the exam I went to the Volunteers in Medicine clinic today to start volunteering. Hopefully they'll be amenable to my presence. I have no medical volunteering experience at the moment, something that needs to change before I apply to medical school. I hope my enterprise doesn't seem to cynical to you, dear reader.

Same bat crap, same crappy channel

Well this week ended in a fiasco with an execrable o-chem quiz. So I studied for about 8 hours for this quiz, but was caught with my pants down on the ol' nomenclature again. I WILL LEARN NOMENCLATURE. Then there was a tricky alkyl halide substitution on a vynilic cyclo alkene. Well, dear readers, I know that a halide cannot react on an SP2 hybridized carbon, but Darn it all to heck, I FORGOT. Then there was the tricky subtle tautomerization of the enol to a ketone which I would have forgotten about, but I made my mistake further upstream. GO GEORGE. I hope that this was the bad quiz for the term, since I can't exacltly affort to chuck points out the window.

Upon the horns of a dilemma

First off, is a dilemma related etymologically to the rhetorical (and logical) device of a 'lemma'? (small proof serving as a subset of a larger proof?). Now that we have obtained today's non-sequitur, on to business. So, the first week of classes has ended. At the beginning of the week, I was registered for 15 credits, but now only 11. I decided to drop Cell Bio after the first day. My primary reason for so doing was based primarily on sentiment rather than reason. I had never looked forward to the class, didn't think it sounded too interesting, and had been warned off it by a friend. I just had a bad feeling about the class. I am, however, still registerd for Investigations in medical physiology which I think will prepare me adequately for the medical portions of the biological sciences section of the MCAT. Concurrently, I am also taking more O-Chem and O-chem lab. Ochem will be lots of work this term, I think. With more time on my hands, however, I think I'll be able to tackle the innumerable chemical reactions I"m required to learn. MCAT preparation is going well right now, I have two good books from KAPLAN to supplement the binders from eh KAPLAN course I received from a friend. Reading lesson plans is ok, but I'd rather read tips designed to be exclusively for the student. I think the hardest parts are going to be the Gen. Chem and the Physics portions, for two reasons. They are the most calculation intensive portions, as well as the parts over which I think my grasp of the material is the most tenuous.

First Day again

Faithful readers will no doubt rejoice that Dr. Longfinger has been removed from his position as substitute author of George's irresistible blog. I am, as the French say, de retour. School starts today, which provides a merciful break from the endless tedium (te deum?) of the winter holiday. For those amongst who who hang on my every word, chronically addicted to following my every move, I am taking more O-Chem, Ochem lab, Cell bio, and Investigations in medical physiology. IN any spare time I might have, I'm going to be cramming for the MCAT. YAY!

Addendum from Dr. Longfinger, M.D.

In Fretful's email, s/he opined that I was making up the events which fill my stories. As Dave Barry vociferously asserts when he recounts the absurd, " I am not making this up"
-Dr. L

Counter rebuttal

Dear Miffed,
Let me assure you that the events under consideration did in fact occur, without any embellishment. (Granted, there my be some narrative lisence taken in the case of Dr. Longfingers replies in certain instances. His actual replies are far more tactful than what is recorded here. The answers recorded here represent what Dr. Longfinger WOULD have said, had the world been perfect.) In response to your accusation that I am promoting my own personal agenda, let me assure you this is not the case. That the bulk of the simpletons in his stories seem to be nurses is due only to his disguise as a phlebotomist which brings him in contact primarily with RN's, not MD's. To allay your fears, however, I have decided to recount the following story in order to prove I am not an anti-nurse crusader.
I was sitting in the Phlebotomy department office one day, on my break, when a phone call came in. 'Twas a doctor calling to see about the feasibility of obtaining a CBC (complete blood count). Of course, we said. On bagged urine, he said. Excuse me? a CBC on bagged urine? No can do pardner. a CBC is done on Whole Blood. Not pee. Perhaps if we spin the urine fast enough in the centrifuge it will turn to whole blood? No Dr. Sanscerveau, 'tis impossible. [editor's note: it should be noted that it is possible for there to be blood cells in urine, so asking for a count of those in a urinalysis is feasible. it is not, however, possible to use urine in the machine which normally runs CBC's.]

Miffed, I hope that this proves there are dunces universally distributed in hospital settings.
-Dr. L.

Rebuttal

Dr. Longfinger, it would appear that you have an anti-nurse agenda which you are shamelessly promoting using George's normally dull Blog as a forum. I am an RN and have never seen, let alone committed the blunders which seem to permeate Dr. Longfinger's anecdotes. I would maintain that either Dr. Longfinger is in fact covering for his own blunders and pawnign off these mistakes on others, or the events in question never in fact occured.
-Miffed in Missoula

Q&A with Dr. Longfinger

A: You have raised an interesting question. By and large, most nurses are quite competent. There are, however, some remarkably dim RN's servicing our nation's ill. Perhaps the following anecdote from the annals of Dr. Longfinger will answer your question. It was early one morning on our little floor, not a patient was stirring, not even Bill Moore. As I out wheeled my cart, I saw with alarm, 'twas an Isolation room, I could come to harm. I donned glove and gown, and prepped my syringe. I pushed open the door, which swung on its hinge. A sign on the wall read "I have a PICC, use it to get blood, mine, all" Puzzelled by syntax I asked for his nurse. She said No More Verse and belted a Curse. OK, said I pleased, I'll stick to my prose, and don't get bent out of shape. you or your nose. So I went in the room to draw out his blood, the PICC wouldn't work [editor's note: A PICC is a special type of IV that has a long canula in the vein that terminates just outside the heart and can occaisionaly be used for blood draws]. I poked him instead with my needle. He had a CBC, or complete blood count. As I left the room, his nurse who was waiting outside asked me if I had the results back yet. WHAT THE CRAP??? Umm, no, I replied, barely tactfully. The blood, you see, is still in this tube in my hand. I have not yet been certified on teleportation, and consequently, the blood must physically go TO the lab to be tested. I can, if you like, hold it up to the light to count the RBC's. [Editor's note: Using full phrases and names is anathema to those in the medical profession. RBC stands for Red Blood Cell]. Very well. Do you at least have the resulst of his blood sugar test for 0900? NO, again I replied, carefully checking my tongue at the tongue check. ( they gave me a chit I have yet to redeem for my tongue). You see, it is only 0645, and we dont' do sugars until 30 minutes before their time. THat would be, at the earliest, 0830.
To return to your original question, Fretful, don't ever leave the side of your loved one. Those nurses, seemingly benign, can be quite dull of mind.

From the annals of Dr. Longfinger

Dear Sr. Sassy in Md.
Your most recent correspondance bordered on the unquietly dignified. If, however, we are to be scatalogical, let us then be so utterly scatalogical as to collapse in a fit of giggles over the meerest mention of poo. As in teh poo-r in spirit. Let me regale you with an acoount of fecal woes unparalleled. Occaisonally, in the hospital setting, there are times when it becomes necessary to induce a BM in a patient. One such a chance was two weeks ago in the medical ICU at Sacred Heart. Your beloved Dr. Longfinger was in his customary disguise as a phlebotomist for Oregon Medical Labs. As he padded down the hall, his poorly made cart chattering all the way, a wretched miasma filled his nose and mouth. Unsuccessfully trying not to gag, he walked past the room from which the stench emanated. Dorren, the nurse staggered out of the room, halfway between laughter and nausea. I asked what had happened. He told me that he had just seen the world's largest poop. How big? I asked, my morbid curiousity piqued. The size of a newborn, he replied grinning and gagging. By smell alone I could not doubt the veracity of his assertion. He told me that the nurse was trying unsuccessfully to flush it down the toilet. Hmm, I thought to myself, would I try to flush a poop the size of a child down the toilet ? NO. But, I am not a registered nurse, so such "outside the box" (read: poorly concieved) solutions are beyond my grasp.
Q: I have a hospitalized relative who is quite dear to me. The nurses who are attending her seem, however, to be less than teh Florence Nightingales I expect to see roaming the hospital. Should I be concerned for her wellbeing? or is she in good hands?
-Fretful in Fresno

Editor's Note

Due to extreme laxity on the part of George in updating his posts, his Blog has been temporarily taken over by Dr. Longfinger until such time that George will be able to reclaim his duties.