The Perforated Testicle

Yes, it is time for Dr. Fingerbottom's ramblings. He has changed his name, due to a syndicated column published by Aaron Tabacco who pioneered the Dr. Longfinger's name. In the interest of avoiding a copyright infringement suite, my sarcastic doctor is now Dr. Fingerbottom, Dr. Longfinger's partner (in a professional relationship).
As I was fixin' to leave work today, a histology tech grabbed my coworker and me and said "you gotta see this!". Curious, we trotted over to histology lab. The tech, we shall call him "Pooch", because I misheard his name and that's what it sounded like, showed as a small recepticle with 5 small pins in it. They looked about like those pins that hold your watchband to the watch. "Where do you think these came from ?" he asked. Umm, I give, where? "A man's testicle", he deadpanned. This begs the question: 'what was he doing? " He supposedly hopped into bed, where some pins were hidden in the sheets", Pooch answered. If you believe that, I have some clichés to tell you about real estate in florida and bridges which are for sale.
the moral of the story: If you're going to pierce your testicles, please, please, please, use a needle that's long enough to come out the other side. If you don't, I hope you're smart enough to realize that after the first one doesn't go all the way through, you don't have to try four others of identical lengt to achieve the same result.

Latin disclaimer: Caveat Lector: I am suspicious of this type of injury. The man's story could be entirely plausible. He might have mistakenly placed his pincushion in the bed, while performing some minor surgery on his favorite french-cuffed dress shirt. After succesfully repairing the beloved clothing, he was exulting at the prospect of donning the garment for tomorrow's gainful employement. He gleefully hopped into bed, so as to hasten the approaching dawn. To his ghastlly surprise, there was the pincushion, which, to his horror bit him in the You Know What. He must have rushed down to the ER, had the Pins of Inadvertant Perforation (PIP's to those in the medical field) removed and gone to work in the newly refurbished oxford cloth dress shirt.

More latin: Arma Virumque Cano, or " I sing of the man who might have pierced his testicles by accident, but who probably did not"

Still more latin: Yo No Soy Marinero, Soy Capitan, Soy Capitan. Or " Et tu Brutus, alla gallia in tres partitas divisa est" which, to those of us in english means "Brutus, where can I get some good cheap lares and penates for my penthouse domus?