Counter rebuttal

Dear Miffed,
Let me assure you that the events under consideration did in fact occur, without any embellishment. (Granted, there my be some narrative lisence taken in the case of Dr. Longfingers replies in certain instances. His actual replies are far more tactful than what is recorded here. The answers recorded here represent what Dr. Longfinger WOULD have said, had the world been perfect.) In response to your accusation that I am promoting my own personal agenda, let me assure you this is not the case. That the bulk of the simpletons in his stories seem to be nurses is due only to his disguise as a phlebotomist which brings him in contact primarily with RN's, not MD's. To allay your fears, however, I have decided to recount the following story in order to prove I am not an anti-nurse crusader.
I was sitting in the Phlebotomy department office one day, on my break, when a phone call came in. 'Twas a doctor calling to see about the feasibility of obtaining a CBC (complete blood count). Of course, we said. On bagged urine, he said. Excuse me? a CBC on bagged urine? No can do pardner. a CBC is done on Whole Blood. Not pee. Perhaps if we spin the urine fast enough in the centrifuge it will turn to whole blood? No Dr. Sanscerveau, 'tis impossible. [editor's note: it should be noted that it is possible for there to be blood cells in urine, so asking for a count of those in a urinalysis is feasible. it is not, however, possible to use urine in the machine which normally runs CBC's.]

Miffed, I hope that this proves there are dunces universally distributed in hospital settings.
-Dr. L.