Q&A with Dr. Longfinger

A: You have raised an interesting question. By and large, most nurses are quite competent. There are, however, some remarkably dim RN's servicing our nation's ill. Perhaps the following anecdote from the annals of Dr. Longfinger will answer your question. It was early one morning on our little floor, not a patient was stirring, not even Bill Moore. As I out wheeled my cart, I saw with alarm, 'twas an Isolation room, I could come to harm. I donned glove and gown, and prepped my syringe. I pushed open the door, which swung on its hinge. A sign on the wall read "I have a PICC, use it to get blood, mine, all" Puzzelled by syntax I asked for his nurse. She said No More Verse and belted a Curse. OK, said I pleased, I'll stick to my prose, and don't get bent out of shape. you or your nose. So I went in the room to draw out his blood, the PICC wouldn't work [editor's note: A PICC is a special type of IV that has a long canula in the vein that terminates just outside the heart and can occaisionaly be used for blood draws]. I poked him instead with my needle. He had a CBC, or complete blood count. As I left the room, his nurse who was waiting outside asked me if I had the results back yet. WHAT THE CRAP??? Umm, no, I replied, barely tactfully. The blood, you see, is still in this tube in my hand. I have not yet been certified on teleportation, and consequently, the blood must physically go TO the lab to be tested. I can, if you like, hold it up to the light to count the RBC's. [Editor's note: Using full phrases and names is anathema to those in the medical profession. RBC stands for Red Blood Cell]. Very well. Do you at least have the resulst of his blood sugar test for 0900? NO, again I replied, carefully checking my tongue at the tongue check. ( they gave me a chit I have yet to redeem for my tongue). You see, it is only 0645, and we dont' do sugars until 30 minutes before their time. THat would be, at the earliest, 0830.
To return to your original question, Fretful, don't ever leave the side of your loved one. Those nurses, seemingly benign, can be quite dull of mind.